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Tuesday, April 21, 2009

LISTENING 2 CHILDREN - The Journey into Rightness

The Journey Into “Rightness”

Have you ever stepped back from a situation in your life and looked at it with fresh eyes? And then asking, “Why did I do that?” Perhaps it was some happening that took place…and you re-look at it and the way it was handled. Many years ago, I heard the term “Auto-Pilot”, in reference to one who just responds as if they were “programmed”. With so much to handle in today’s world, going into a state of automation, has its advantages. The main one being, it’s one less thing to think about, so we respond in a certain way time and time again.

Before you proceed reading this article,
I invite you to ponder the following.
Do you have an on-going question that you ask yourself?
It could be about your personal life, or your parenting or your work.

Before proceeding, please take time to ponder this and write down the question/s you ask yourself on an on-going basis.

When I first came across this concept, I did not think I was asking myself a question. However, upon closer observation, I discovered I was. Following are a few examples of questions I’ve heard being asked by people.

Why don’t I earn more money?
Why don’t the kids go to bed on time?
Why aren’t I happy?

Do any of these resemble the question/s you ask yourself? I invite you to consider if the above form resemble yours or not. Was your question looking at what’s wrong or what’s right? I believe that many times we are on “Auto-Pilot” and have just become accustomed to looking for the problem not the solution.

Kurt and Patricia Wright, in their marketing book, Breaking the Rules, introduce the concept of asking the “RIGHT QUESTION”. The one they invite readers to ask themselves is: “What are you and I like at our very best?” They feel that when the right question is asked, the result is one of getting on a roll toward high performance. If you are interested in their work, they are on line at

As I’ve taken this into my life, I find that asking a question that focus on “What’s Right” in any particular situation, truly creates a momentum in an up-hill direction.
So I invite you to consider asking such a question about your world in relationship to the children in your life. Following are some possible questions.

What’s working in the way I listen to children?
What’s working in the way the children listen to me?

For so long I sense that our focus has been on the problem, not the solution. It’s something that has been ingrained in our consciousness so deeply that we just naturally think about looking at the problem. Could we expect new and better results if we begin to focus on the least little bit of goodness or rightness in a situation and allow that to flourish? It’s not an easy journey to make the switch and focus on ‘rightness’; however, I do believe it’s a journey worth traveling!

Children, and adults for that matter, thrive on acknowledgment and encouragement. As we see the ‘rightness’ going on with our children and acknowledge that, more emerges. Children enjoy attention. So, acknowledging them for the positive encourage more of that! Calling attention to the negative behavior will encourage more of that! It’s so easy to think we need to address the problem, and at times, that is necessary, but many other times, I think a focus on what’s right, can create more “rightness”.

I invite you to take the “Journey into “Rightness” and see if a little rightness grows into more rightness. The areas that this can be practiced in are so numerous. I’d love to hear from you regarding the “rightness” in your world.

What’s Right about our family?
What’s Right about our dinnertime?
What’s Right about our home?
What’s Right about my lifestyle?

Sharon Ann Wikoff holds two California Teaching Credentials and is an EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) Practitioner. She hosts the Radio Programs, Heart 2 Heart Listening and The Voice of Change on For many years she’s had a small business teaching piano to children and adults. She now holds Teacher Trainings for individuals wanting to create a small business, teaching children from their passions and life experience. She can be reached at

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